Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
