i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
