operation harelip BJ is a go
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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