took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
