Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
