His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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