He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
