Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
