turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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