The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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