Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
