There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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