yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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