Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
