i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
