The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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