Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
