he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
