WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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