**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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