Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
