There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
