it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
