Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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