we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
