come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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