Reggie can tackle my bush.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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