Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So many bounce houses so little time
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
