That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
