this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
