Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
