You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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