They should really pass out barf bags in church
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
