I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
