I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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