After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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