Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We just shotgunned beers for America
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
