Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
