dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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