Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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