everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
