can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
