are you still at the devil's house?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
