He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
