THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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