Umm I'm too high to move.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
