either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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