why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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