Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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