I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
