1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
