I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize