I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
