he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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