After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize