If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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