just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
