There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
