Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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