I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
