she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
