and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize