Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
