another moral hangover. fuck.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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