I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
