I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
