I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
These tits shall not be calmed
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize