i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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