When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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