I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
