that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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