I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
