I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
