I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize