Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize