At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
