Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
