i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
