I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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